This is a satirical story based on the thought experiment of how the “liberal” or traditional media would respond, as well as the libertarian “left,” to reports of an attempted assassination of a top-ranking Republican figure by someone with left-wing leanings. Since Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi’s husband Paul Pelosi was attacked, the news media has covered the event sparingly, Republican candidates have made jokes at Speaker Pelosi and her husband’s expense, and the right-wing media has pushed baseless “speculation” concerning the details of the events and how they unfolded.
Donald Trump has promoted the fact-free conspiracy theories as well. The coverage of this, and how profoundly divisive it is, has been tepid at best. The New York Times heavily covered and gave large swaths of front-page real estate to stories about Hillary Clinton’s “emails” back in 2016, but somehow smothered this attempted assassination story in a single corner panel, with a smaller photo than the obituary picture of Jerry Lee Lewis. Pelosi remained in the hospital for almost one week after undergoing surgery to repair his skull fracture and other injuries sustained in the attack.
Elaine Chao, the former secretary of transportation under disgraced President Donald Trump and wife of Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, remains in the hospital, having sustained a skull fracture and other injuries after being attacked in her home by a man wielding a hammer. According to early reports, the man’s social media presence is filled with conspiracy theories relating to McConnell and Chao’s relationship to a shadowy shipping company and Donald Trump’s intimate relationship with Jeffrey Epstein. The suspect also promoted imagery of the “Blue Wave” and “Resistance” movements
Political leaders from both parties have held press conferences roundly condemning the actions of the suspect, and Fox News Business has changed its programming to running a 24-hour vigil with an image of a candle burning while selections from Wagner’s Rienzi play in the background. CNN has dedicated 23 of the past 24 hours of its coverage to the attack, with 30 minutes dedicated to covering midterm election races in California, Florida, and Michigan, 10 minutes to weather events around the country, and 20 minutes covering whether or not Elon Musk is still friendly with Jeff Bezos.
MSNBC and CNN have also said they are collaborating on a town hall-style event with Chuck Schumer and Liz Cheney to talk about the divisiveness in our country. Tentatively titled “America the Purple,” Cheney has promised not to bring up the events of Jan. 6, 2021.
