In case you consider Elon Musk—although, truthfully, why would you?—he’s going to construct eleventy billion humanoid robots that will do actually every little thing, ushering in an unprecedented period of peace and prosperity.
Did we point out that—since Elon’s cultural reference factors appear to be these of a tween who’s satisfied that, as a result of he learn one science fiction ebook, he’s light-years past his friends—the dumb robots are named Optimus? As in Prime? Sigh.
In actuality, these robots, whose existence shall be simply over the horizon endlessly, actually solely exist as a approach for Musk to faux that he’s well worth the staggering pay packages his corporations are silly sufficient to offer him.
So listed here are some issues that Musk’s robots are completely, undoubtedly, completely going to have the ability to do.
Get constructed!
Uh, yeah, as just a bit little bit of a threshold matter: they don’t exist but. Tesla says there may be an Optimus pilot manufacturing line and that the robots are being examined in Musk’s factories and workplaces.
However in fact—although they’re apparently simply on the “let the robots wander across the hallways” stage—by 2026, manufacturing shall be in full swing, with 1 million models made per 12 months by 2030—or it is likely to be 2029.
Positive.
Be for everybody!
Musk is presently predicting that this stuff will promote for $20,000, which is only a wee bit out of the “buy dozens of them for my residence” vary for most individuals. He additionally desires to have “robust affect” over his robotic military.
How do you make the robotic a ketamine-addled racist? Extra to the purpose, how do you make individuals need to pay mid-five figures for a ketamine-addled racist robotic?
Destroy the carceral state!
Who knew Musk was such an abolitionist? Effectively, certain, he’s little doubt at all times been in opposition to jail for himself and his cronies, however Musk is nothing if not a person of the individuals—so he desires to ensure all of us get the possibility at endlessly freedom.
The place does Optimus determine in? Per Musk, his faux robotic might present a “extra humane type of containment of future crime.”
You realize, we don’t typically attempt to include future crime due to the way it doesn’t exist but and all. However since Musk has an unmatched skill to take the mistaken classes from the books he pretends to learn, he appears to assume that Philip Ok. Dick’s PreCrime system in “The Minority Report” was inspirational slightly than dystopian.
In Musk’s courageous new world—in all probability one other ebook the place he missed the purpose—at some point, you could possibly get a free Optimus to comply with you round and forestall you from committing crimes.
“However aside from that you simply get to do something,” Musk stated.
Okay, however can the robotic rating us some ketamine?
Go to Mars!
SpaceX goes to Mars—and it’ll take Optimus! Subsequent 12 months! After which people will be part of them in 2029! Or 2031!
Positive …
Again in 2017, Musk stated that folks can be on Mars by 2024, however possibly he was simply ready for Optimus.
Oh, and he can even have to cease his SpaceX rockets from exploding for this to work.
Fold shirts!
Elon launched a promo video of Optimus folding a shirt—besides he later needed to admit that Optimus couldn’t do it “autonomously.” Isn’t with the ability to do issues autonomously form of the entire level of robots?
Get rid of poverty!
Okay, let’s see should you can comply with the mathematics. The robots will price about $20,000 every, however they can even be so ubiquitous and freely accessible that none of us might want to have jobs, and we’ll get a common excessive earnings as a result of these robots shall be a lot extra productive than human plebes.
However it isn’t actually clear how this robot-based economic system would fairly work. It’s important to discover the cash to purchase your robots, until you’re a felony and get a surveillance one free of charge. However upon getting the robots, they are going to be so productive that you simply’ll give up your job however someway nonetheless have entry to an infinite cash spigot.
Looks like Musk, the world’s richest man, may simply straight give us all cash slightly than power this Rube Goldberg nonsense.
Babysit!
Think about your valuable darlings within the care of a glitchy robotic strongly influenced by Musk. Do you assume your child desires some ketamine?
Save Tesla!
Someway, the factor that doesn’t but exist is going to change into 80% of Tesla’s worth. Musk defined this in his “Grasp Plan Half IV” video.
Sure, Optimus will someway make Tesla value $25 trillion—as a result of this man is a toddler with a toddler’s understanding of cash.
Be a coronary heart surgeon!
Come on. Optimus just isn’t going to be “higher than the perfect human surgeon.”
However simply to make certain, why doesn’t Musk be the primary to go beneath the robotic’s knife?
