Understand ANYONE Around You (Including Yourself!) Using One Simple Tool

Ashley:
That is Actual Property Rookie, episode 172.

Nick:
And I imply higher. And the individuals round me would’ve had a unique life too. And I believe, at getting the people who find themselves in your life personally on board as a lot as they’re , the dividends that, that may pay, I can’t even start to let you know. I totally consider that’s my space of ardour for certain.

Ashley:
My title is Ashley Kehr and I’m right here with my co-host Tony Robinson. On this week’s Rookie Reply, we’ve got a particular visitor for you guys.

Tony:
Such a particular visitor that it nearly felt extra like a remedy session at one level than an everyday Rookie Reply. However immediately we’ve got Nick on the present and Nick is definitely, an enneagram knowledgeable. And while you hear enneagram, it’s a persona sort instrument just like the DISC profile or the Myers Briggs. However this one’s somewhat bit totally different and Nick will get into what a few of these variations are and why he feels that this one is definitely, a greater instrument to make use of in your daily life.

Ashley:
Yeah. Nick truly, sat down and spent an hour with every Tony and I and went via what our sort construction must be so this was one thing that was very new to me. Did you ever do the sort of testing Tony?

Tony:
No. Tyler Madden had talked about it to me that he had gone via this earlier than and obtained numerous worth out of it however this was my first time doing it myself as properly.

Ashley:
I nonetheless can’t pronounce it accurately. In order you discover via the entire present I keep away from saying the phrase the entire time.

Tony:
Say the phrase now, say it that approach. Let’s simply get-

Ashley:
Enneagram.

Tony:
… woo. There it’s. You’ve obtained it.

Ashley:
Is that proper?

Tony:
That’s it.

Ashley:
Okay.

Tony:
Yeah. Enneagram.

Ashley:
Let’s save that. We are able to insert it into totally different components of the episode. Okay. So we’re going to deliver Nick on and be taught what sorts Tony and I are. And likewise why that is necessary, what worth it could deliver to your life and others. Nick, welcome to the podcast. We’re very completely satisfied to have you ever on Tony and I’ve each talked to you somewhat bit earlier than this episode to get some background. I might love so that you can share with everybody who you’re and why you’re right here immediately.

Nick:
Initially, thanks for having me on. I do know this isn’t your regular factor however I believe it’s simply a kind of common human issues that’ll make anyone extra profitable within the issues they do and that features what you guys are as much as. I’ve listened to a number of of your podcasts, I don’t know the very first thing about what you’re do. Nicely, I assume I now, know the very first thing about what you’re doing however that’s about it.
I’m an enneagram information, I’ve devoted the final a number of years of my life to it and after I say devoted, I imply perhaps somewhat obsessively and it’s a instrument… One of the best ways to place it’s, it’s a roadmap, a scaffold to know ourselves authentically, and others higher and in a approach that isn’t placing you right into a field and containing who you’re, I believe a couple of different of those instruments which can be useful are likely to do. In order that’s what I do with my life is, I assist individuals discover their method to get the filters and the masks off of the little silent voices which can be at all times influencing us and that’s via the enneagram.

Ashley:
So what precisely is that?

Nick:
Yeah. Nice query.

Ashley:
Are you able to clarify and break it?

Nick:
No. You all know, don’t you? After all. So enneagram comes via antiquity. It goes all the way in which again to monks and the Trappist monks approach again 1200 years in the past, utilizing this factor as a approach of understanding our emotional habits, our focuses, the issues that inspire us after which that permits us to know ourselves actually after which perceive others actually after which development from that. And so approach again when all these years in the past, tons of of years in the past, these monks needed to dwell collectively. And I don’t learn about you however dwelling with a bunch of dudes who’ve taken a sure set of vows would most likely, be difficult. And they also discovered that this was a instrument that allowed them to get alongside authentically and fortunately. It was misplaced, it was obscure for lots of years for hundreds of years and obtained refound within the nineteenth century and actually delivered to life by some of us who’re nonetheless doing it immediately as a sorter of personalities however much less that and extra of an understanding and a roadmap of who we’re.

Ashley:
How does this examine to the DISC profile or different persona duties which can be on the market?

Nick:
Thanks a lot for that query as a result of it’s one I’m enthusiastic about. I did all of these issues however I used to be particularly, a Myers Briggs man for a very long time. And man, I nonetheless, I might by no means fault anyone for locating worth in it, it’s extremely useful. I believe the place it’s useful is at a sure level on our path and our journey and what I learn about lots of people however what I do know particularly, about this group is that, you guys are actually about self-improvement, actually about rising and never simply staying stagnant. And I believe should you’re a kind of sorts of individuals and also you wish to develop and it’s important to you that you simply develop the Myers Briggs is on that line at a spot the place perhaps should you don’t perceive what it’s about you that makes you totally different.
I believe the Myers Briggs can let you know actually loudly and actually precisely. I’m an ENFP, I’m emotional, I’m intuitive, I’m a thinker, I’m a perceiver and I do considering earlier than I do judging and I’m an extrovert greater than I’m an introvert. And so you can begin to actually perceive who you’re. However as you hear me say all that, you additionally hear me placing these containers round issues. You’re listening to me say, “You’re an introvert and never an extrovert, you’re this, you’re not that.” And I believe there’s a containment that occurs there that’s actually good for letting us perceive our tendencies and our behaviors. The enneagram speaks to our emotional habits, that’s my favourite phrase the place we go emotionally. We’re actually, if we’re paying consideration, normally fairly good at understanding our habits however not our emotional habits.
The place will we land emotionally simply out of behavior? And the enneagram additionally speaks to our priorities, our driving feelings after which it’s via that. It says, “Nicely, since you are likely to function extra out of concern than anger as an illustration, you are likely to go this manner,” however the enneagram means that you can say, I’m this sort of ENFP. It’s about you, the person so you may put these issues collectively, I’m a Myers Briggs ENFP however I’m an enneagram seven and that’s the form of ENFP I’m. And it’s extra about who you’re and fewer about what you do.

Tony:
Simply from my very own private information, what are you on the Myers Briggs?

Nick:
An ENFP.

Tony:
Yeah. [crosstalk 00:06:53]. Acquired you. What about you, Ashley?

Nick:
[crosstalk 00:06:56].

Ashley:
I don’t know.

Tony:
Oh, you’ve by no means taken it earlier than?

Ashley:
I’ve by no means taken it. No, I’ve achieved the DISC profile however I’ve by no means taken the Myers Briggs.

Tony:
Okay. What are you on the DISC profile?

Ashley:
I don’t even bear in mind.

Nick:
I don’t know anymore both.

Ashley:
[crosstalk 00:07:03].

Tony:
Ashley, you’re no hope. So on the Myers-

Ashley:
Okay. I’m going to look it up actual fast.

Tony:
… yeah. We’ve obtained to get… I believe it’ll be cool to have this as a part of the dialog too however on Myers Briggs, I’m an INTJ. I don’t actually bear in mind what all these letters stand for but it surely’s just like the engineer or the scientist or one thing like that’s what they name it. On the DISC profile, I do know I’m a very excessive C after which decrease on the D and the I. So that you see some similarities while you have a look at a few of these totally different persona assessments and I do see numerous the identical character traits within the enneagram as I noticed in my examples of the Myers Briggs or the DISC profile. However what I wish to dig into Nick, and perhaps if we will set the desk for the listeners right here is, the Myers Briggs talks, are you intuitive versus judging versus this versus that. The DISC is decisive and cautious and I can’t bear in mind what the opposite ones are. What are the totally different, I don’t know… I assume, classes of the enneagram that folks’s personalities and motivations et cetera, fall into?

Nick:
Yeah. Thanks for the query. I believe it’s actually essentially the distinction, is you’re speaking about these in each these techniques within the Myers Briggs and the DISC and others which can be on the market, that it’s about, “Do you lean this manner or do you lean that approach? Are you extra of a follower or extra of a frontrunner?” And definitely, these issues are endemic to the 9 several types of the enneagram. And once more, enneagram is, ennea is the 9 half should you’re into Latin, I’m not. However there are 9 persona sorts and fewer persona sorts and I exploit that phrase to attempt to relate to the Myers Briggs and stuff but it surely’s actually about these archetypes of sure forms of people. And people sorts of, once more, motivational, what motivates you and the place your emotional habits are.
So for instance, I’m a seven and sevens are motivated… So we’re a part of the concern triad. So that you’re both motivated by concern or anger or your coronary heart and as a part of the concern triad, I are typically an anxious individual, I don’t are typically an offended individual. The truth is, I battle in conditions the place I must be offended, truly, accessing it and doing that however I’m at all times anxious. Now, a seven goes to cope with that by instantly reframing it, discovering a silver lining in, “Life’s good, life’s completely satisfied, we’re at all times optimistic and optimistic.” And from the surface, we have a tendency to simply look that approach whereas somebody proper subsequent to me, who’s an eight, so proper close to me on the enneagram is anger based mostly.
And so when issues come of their life which can be difficult, they combat it, they get their defend, they get their sword and so they’re obtained to go combat that factor. So it’s actually about that motivation. So you concentrate on what I simply stated and the complexity of it and the way you’d parse that out into these little classes of ENFP or these different issues in DISC. How would you try this? We’re speaking about elementary driving feelings in you. The place does that land in Myers Briggs, the place does that land in DISC? And I believe they are often complimentary however that’s the basic distinction, I believe.

Ashley:
Simply earlier than we transfer on actual fast, I did take a minute to look this up. In keeping with the Tony Robbins DISC profile as evaluation, to not be confused with Tony Robinson DISC profile evaluation, I’m a excessive, I.

Nick:
Is smart.

Tony:
I believe that’s what I appreciated concerning the enneagram too Nick, is that, such as you stated, the Myers Briggs or the DISC, it talks lots about the way you act however the enneagram was extra so, “Hey, right here’s why you act that approach,” which I believe is somewhat bit extra instructive as a result of should you perceive your personal motivations, I believe it means that you can do a greater job of being extra self conscious and controlling these weaknesses in your personalities somewhat bit higher. I don’t know. Are there different advantages to the enneagram that I’m lacking? Or would you say that’s the true huge factor that’s the motive force there?

Nick:
Yeah. I believe you nailed the middle of it however I believe the piece that we perhaps aren’t speaking about as a lot right here that I believe particularly, to your viewers is a giant deal, is how that includes itself while you begin interacting with different individuals whether or not that’s private or skilled, man or man. To me, probably the most liberating a part of it’s that capability to completely authentically, perceive others. What are we at all times instructed? That probably the most empathetic factor you are able to do is put your self in another person’s footwear, you set your self of their footwear and we try this of out of nice goodwill if we’re being good individuals, we strive. Nicely, should you try this, you’re simply placing your self of their footwear so all your biases, all of your life expertise, all your emotional habits and you then go put your self of their footwear and say, “Nicely, okay, I perceive why they,” no, you don’t. You perceive how you’d be in that state of affairs and the enneagram enables you to truly, perceive them of their footwear.
And I believe a kind of issues particularly, in enterprise partnerships the place issues might be actually perhaps rather less emotionally open, hopefully not however typically. Typically issues can really feel like, “Nicely, if I stated that, if I did that, it will be as a result of I used to be actually mad, it will be as a result of I didn’t give a crap, it will be due to these,” however perhaps should you perceive this individual’s sort construction, you perceive that’s in no way what they’re doing, their motivations are simply totally different than yours. You’re a visionary, they’re an in depth individual so after they begin mentioning the main points which can be going to collapse, they’re not choosing aside your dream. They’re making an attempt that can assist you perceive, right here’s some stuff which may go unsuitable. That form of stuff so I believe the opposite worth is in groups and in relationships, each enterprise {and professional}.

Ashley:
So we talked about the way it’s necessary to take heed to your self from studying about your habits and what sort of individual you’re so that you might be extra aware of your habits and the way you work together with individuals. However you touched somewhat bit about relationships and speaking with different individuals whether or not on their workforce. So do you ask individuals to go get this testing achieved or do you memorize all these sorts after which attempt to determine what sort they’re? How do you greatest strategy that as to determining what somebody’s sort is so that you could work together with them appropriately?

Nick:
Man, what an incredible query. One of many cardinal sins for individuals in what I do is that you simply by no means sort any person, you must by no means ever say, “Oh, you’re an eight and I do know that so da, da, da,” as a result of that’s simply a lot placing any person in a field as something. However there generally is a stage of consciousness and so ideally, yeah, Ashley. You’ll should you have been on a workforce, I believe it’d be extremely useful to get everyone to go at the very least do a tertiary high stage view and get some notion of what sort construction they is perhaps and share that should you’re on a workforce that I promise you, the payoff for that’s going to be approach greater only for a day or an hour of studying.
What you’ll see come out of that on a workforce, I believe could be greater than you can presumably think about. That stated, as you undergo your life you may’t simply encounter every individual and be like, “Right here’s a check. I want you to take this.” However should you spend a while in it even should you’re simply spend time on you and your sort construction, we’re all in numerous methods, we’re all of the enneagram numbers. You possibly can’t be utterly divorced from any a part of it ultimately, the enneagram is the entire human expertise. And so that you begin to get a way should you meet any person who, man, it simply looks like each time you deliver one thing up, they simply wish to combat you and it looks as if they like combating you and never simply you, everyone. They simply at all times wish to combat.
And people form of individuals you may suppose, “Man, what a jerk,” most likely, somebody who’s an eight you don’t know. However from that, you may actually begin understanding the rationale they’re that approach is as a result of they actually care. Eights deep at their core, are probably the most tender jelly loving individuals and however they’re tremendous delicate and their approach of coping with that and ensuring that everyone that they care about whether or not it’s on a piece workforce or a household, they’re going to go combat. And so should you can see it for what it’s you then’ll see it for that versus “Man, what a jerk,” you’ll see them combating for a factor they care about. And so to that finish if you can begin to get that sense, you can begin truly, understanding individuals who aren’t such as you.

Ashley:
So it is very important not solely perceive your personal sort however to have an understanding of the opposite sorts so that you could have a look at any person and say, “They could be this kind,” and that may be extra useful than simply memorizing what your sort is and understanding that. However getting some information and understanding of others is the place you’re going to get the true profit.

Nick:
Yeah. I might say you may break it into two components. I might additionally say I might transfer from memorizing to having a relationship with who you’re since you actually begin to perceive that individual. And I believe that’s a part of the ability of it versus a few of these different persona problems the place, “I’m an ENFP,” this can be a relationship with your self. So at that half and you may simply try this and also you’ll be a greater individual to everyone you encounter, you’ll be extra profitable in each one in every of your interactions and within the stuff you do. You simply gained’t have the filters and the silent voices you’re not conscious of impacting that. And you can simply try this and I believe that’d be extremely useful however, yeah. In case you really need the max good thing about it, understanding the opposite sorts and understanding at the very least the categories, the people who find themselves actually shut in your life, simply on that stage, suppose that’s an incredible alternative to actually flip up the dial on, on what you’re able to doing with others.

Tony:
So Nick, not solely did we deliver you right here to coach our listeners on the enneagram however you additionally spend a while with Ash and I individually, attending to know us somewhat bit and determining which of these 9 numbers we fell into. And I don’t learn about for you Ash, however nearly it felt like somewhat bit like a remedy session. There was numerous deep, very pointed questions.

Ashley:
Yeah. That was the precise… I texted my buddy proper after I used to be like, “I believe I simply had a remedy session.”

Tony:
So Nick, I believe Ash and I might each love if we might share with the listeners what variety of class we fell into after which simply have a dialogue round what precisely that quantity entails and simply have a fluid dialogue round it.

Nick:
Positive. And simply to kick it off, that typing interview is so totally different than the work you’d do when you’re typed. And I completely, it’s like I stated it to each of you, it’s like a police, you’ve obtained the sunshine on you and it’s like an interrogation and it’s intense. So thanks each for doing that with me. I actually respect it.

Ashley:
Nicely, the questions are exhausting. You actually have to consider your self.

Nick:
Yeah. So thanks for doing that. I respect you taking the time and being so open. I believe what we landed on for each of you which of them is admittedly attention-grabbing to me is an enneagram sort construction of six. Ashley, there was somewhat bit extra ambiguity with as a result of you might have numerous that seven vitality. I’m a seven so it takes one to know one. And I believe what’s attention-grabbing about that although and I used to be hypothesizing with each of you if I ponder if in communities of individuals like this, who’re pushed to make their lives higher and to seek out safety that you simply’re going to come across extra sixes, I don’t know. And right here’s why, sixes as a sort construction, their behavior of my is doubt. Doubt about, and once more, we return to that is your root stage.
All of us work to develop into higher and never let these items personal us however sixes, have a tendency to seek out themselves doubting issues after which looking for a method to think about these issues. So sixes can also have probably the most religion out of any sort construction relying on the place they’re. And their driving emotion is, as I discussed earlier, concern. So doubt and concern and also you’re beginning to hear these phrases. I’m going to day out for one second and let you know one other factor I really like concerning the enneagram. It actually doesn’t pat you on the again, it doesn’t say you’re superb as a result of it just about is available in and says, “Right here’s what’s most likely, a problem for you.” And the enjoyable a part of working in your sort construction is lowering the affect of that however, yeah. As I proceed to speak to you right here in entrance of all of your listeners, I’m most likely, going to inform the issues that don’t sound like rah, rah and that’s simply the character of the enneagram. That’s simply how it’s.
However your focus of attentions as a six is to seek out the hazards and so that is all of the dangerous stuff however right here’s the factor that makes sixes so essentially superb is that they’ve an nearly supernatural capability to try this, to seek out the hazards on the earth, see them coming, get a plan collectively to both mitigate it or utterly keep away from it. And try this particularly, for his or her small circle of individuals, that’s usually their household, their precise literal, household. However sixes additionally make households out of the individuals they wish to however they do that as a lot or extra for these individuals as they do for themselves. And should you see a six at work, actually doing their factor, it’s supernatural. They will simply see all of it coming and plan and have it found out earlier than it will get there.
So I felt numerous that from each of you. After which after listening to a few of your podcasts, it’s clear that you simply’re simply doing that every day which is why I ponder in case your viewers is overrepresented with sixes however, yeah. I believe each of you’re there. If I can simply pradal on somewhat longer Ashley, I believe on the enneagram numbers, like I stated, we’re linked to all of them however we’re linked to outdoors of our particular sort construction for in stronger methods. So we’ve got a quantity will slide to in stress or some individuals say dis integration and a quantity we slide to after we’re extra calm, integration, some individuals say after which we’ve got wings. So the wings are simply, you’re going to lean to the precise or the left.
In case you’re a six, you may lean 5, should you’re six, you may lean seven. And I actually really feel Tony, you lean heavy to the 5 which is the engineer as you talked about. My brother’s a 5, he actually sends satellites into house. He owns a satellite tv for pc firm after which the sevens are me, simply an excessive amount of vitality and I simply make everyone uncomfortable. So it’s that vitality of positivity and all that and Ashley actually talked about trying to the long run which is such a seven factor to do, is to have optimistic plans on the books to have a optimistic spin on issues. If issues begin getting disturbing, sure, sevens stress they’re ain’t anxious similar to sixes however they go someplace with that. It’s extra optimistic, attempt to hold it optimistic after which fives are these thinkers and I don’t suppose both of you’re a 5 or a seven however you positively, lean that approach. And I believe what’s actually attention-grabbing is how that reveals up between the 2 of you.

Ashley:
That’s why we make the most effective workforce as cohost.

Tony:
So, Nick, I wish to speak somewhat bit about a few of the limitations or not limitations however a few of the persona quirks that perhaps make it somewhat bit tougher for sixes as a result of as I used to be studying, I believe that was the half that jumped out to me. So we talked about a few of the shrainings of being a six however what are a few of the limitations and the way can Ash and I mitigate a few of these in our daily lives?

Nick:
Thanks. That’s an incredible query. What’s attention-grabbing about sixes is, the quantity I can consider, the kind construction on the enneagram that’s the most, their dichotomy, their strengths or their weaknesses and that’s so hardly ever the case. Sixes are hypervigilant, finish of story. And that’s what makes them so superb at getting ready and planning for his or her lives and seeing issues via and doing that. what else it does is, it will get of their approach, the nervousness, the fascinated with all these issues that may go unsuitable, it could result in pessimism, it could result in doubt. It will possibly result in these sorts of issues which… They usually can begin to spin. So the factor that makes them superb at being them can be the factor that holds them again and in relationships, together with and particularly, skilled relationships can simply decelerate the prepare, can get caught and mired in that house.
They usually can also get they’re involved with loyalty and to allow them to discover themselves in a distrusting place. And I believe, boy, anytime you’re going to do one thing huge in your life, In case you’re going to begin a brand new partnership with any person, all of us have hesitancy as a result of it’s a giant deal. However my goodness, in case you are so wrapped up within the thought, “If I can belief this individual, will they be loyal, dah, dah, dah,” that may maintain you again from numerous issues.
And people are some main challenges that sixes face and in addition there can sometimes, be a self-doubt piece that comes into that. In case you ever are blindsided by one thing as a six, man or man, can that land like a, “How did I not see this coming? How did I not, I’ve this superpower?” And that may actually be a result in self-doubt as properly. And I believe the superb factor about development within the enneagram versus development via different instruments is, you’re not addressing the truth that you’re too introverted or no matter, you’re addressing the truth that,”Man, right here’s this huge factor that I’m at all times targeted on and the way is that impacting the way in which I see every thing.” And so getting out of that may be actually highly effective.

Ashley:
What are some instruments and sources that we will go to learn to, we’re a sort six however we wish to be the most effective sort six we might be?

Nick:
Yeah. I despatched you guys, hopefully you may publish some hyperlinks and issues. To me, the authority the place I’ve achieved nearly all of my studying because the narrative within the enneagram, they’re the OGs, if you’ll, of the enneagram and so they’re passionate, they hold updating not simply their terminologies however their methods of fascinated with it. You heard me say a pair instances all through this, “Oh, some individuals use this verbiage and a few individuals use that.” They’re at all times actually fascinated with how, they’re by no means achieved and so they don’t suppose they’ve it found out. And I believe that’s actually superb and I’ve achieved numerous stuff there. So the narrativeenneagram.com, there’s two books that basically kicked off my journey that change my life and that’s The Path Again to You and The Street Between Us or I may need gotten the trail and the street inverted on that but it surely’s one thing about roads.
And so The Street Again to You and The Path Between Us, it’s written by a few pastors which is simply from that perspective they’re in no way… It’s not from the angle of that religion however it’s, it’s their life expertise, it’s their discovered expertise. And they also share the way it works of their world so these are nice locations to begin. After which I actually really feel like there may be a lot you are able to do with studying and assessments and issues however there’s simply actually no alternative for speaking to any person. So clearly, me and folks like me who can sit down and actually work with you and your particular person, your sort construction and understanding it after which lessening its affect.

Ashley:
Let me ask you this, so after you talked with us and we recognized our sort construction, did you come into this interview understanding or having a plan, how you can work together with us based mostly on our sort construction? And what does that appear to be, what’s one of the best ways to work together with a six?

Nick:
what’s attention-grabbing? That’s an incredible query, thanks. Sure and no, is the reply. Understanding sort buildings simply routinely, as quickly as you, should you’ve been shortly and also you’ve invested in it, you perceive a six and so I believe simply routinely, we’ll return to the Myers Briggs right here. My N, means I’m intuitive so that you’re both intuitive or considering. So after getting the understanding, I believe you do on some stage shift, the way in which you communicate. I actually, am not speaking to you the way in which I speak to a one or a 3 however I don’t suppose it modifications the underlying, it’s perhaps simply talking a barely totally different language. And I believe for sixes, it’s letting perhaps somewhat bit extra of me out personally. As a result of sixes wish to know they’ll belief you, sixes wish to know that you simply’re a human being on this world with them.
If I got here in like a one and one particularly, are very element oriented, they’ve a really loud inside critic and so they search for every thing that might be unsuitable and so totally different than sixes who search for issues that would go unsuitable. And if I began doing that and bringing that vitality, I believe there’s numerous, that may make you guys really feel rather less snug. So I believe it goes again to that factor we talked about, should you perceive different sorts you may simply be of their house with them in a approach that’s somewhat extra genuine.

Tony:
Yeah. I’m considering as you have been speaking, Nick and it’s like, I really feel like I ought to actually simply do all of those with my spouse and my son, my son’s 14 years. So I believe he’s sufficiently old to get the worth out of this however how cool would that be if, as a household, we perceive one another’s enneagrams, we perceive one another’s Myers Briggs, their DISC profiles, man, what might that do to {our relationships}? So I’m simply considering out loud proper now however man, what a cool… I don’t suppose households try this sufficient, understanding the place the opposite individual’s coming from.

Ashley:
Yeah. I believe you consider it extra of like groups at your work-

Tony:
Enterprise.

Ashley:
… enterprise however not into your loved ones.

Nick:
Nicely, Tony, thanks. I imply, I do know I’m right here speaking to this viewers who has a selected curiosity and this can be a little off that subject however boy, I believe if I’m simply going to be actually blunt, that’s the actual mom load of worth within the new sport is what you simply stated. I imply, I didn’t point out it originally, I used to be going to however the way in which I discovered it’s I discovered myself very all of the sudden and really unexpectedly divorced and my life was simply upended and that’s when the enneagram got here into my life.
And I’ll let you know the primary factor I saved considering as I simply began dipping my toes after which digging is, I’m like, “I might’ve had a unique life if I’d have had the enneagram previous to,” I imply, if I might have gone again to my twenties, I might’ve had a totally totally different life and I imply higher. And the individuals round me would’ve had a unique life too and I believe, at getting the people who find themselves in your life personally on board as a lot as they’re , the dividends that may pay, I can’t even start to let you know, I totally consider that’s my space of ardour for certain.

Ashley:
I see these and I don’t know a lot about this in any respect however like zodiac indicators or your horoscope, issues like that. I see issues on-line the place it’s like, “Oh, should you’re a Scorpio you match with an Aquarius,” I don’t even know if that’s one other one, I simply know I’m a Scorpio. And it’s like, you match properly with that individual in enterprise sensible and even relationship sensible. Are you able to have a look at these sorts and there’s higher individuals that you simply’ll work with or it doesn’t even matter in any respect? As a result of I noticed within the one worksheet, there was the thoughts, the physique and the guts and a few of them have been categorized. Are you able to go into that somewhat extra too?

Nick:
Yeah. Thanks. So one of many issues I actually love concerning the enneagram too is, as a result of it’s treating us like individuals and never like laptop applications that we will type into various things, is that there’s the somatic piece. So you actually introduced that half up so our physique half and that’s the place we are likely to course of every thing in our lives. So the top sorts which is 5, six and 7. We actually, take your entire world in, we course of it and we do every thing we do via our brains. And it hardly ever goes any decrease and if it does, we’re not snug with it. I’m one, I completely get that. And you then transfer into simply, which approach we’re going to go? We’ll go eight, 9 and one, these are the physique sort, the very backside and that’s the anger sort.
It comes from their stomach, it rages and somebody like a 9, you deliver that as much as them you say, “Oh, you’re actually anger pushed.” And like, “No, I’m by no means offended,” that’s precisely it. They’re so good, their whole life is pushed by not being offended. If there’s tumultuous state of affairs, they’re those who can slip their ft into everyone’s footwear, make every thing okay and transfer alongside. As a result of like, man, I simply don’t need any anger but it surely’s nonetheless anger pushed. After which there’s the guts sorts which I believe all of us can intuitively perceive, they dwell their life via their feelings and the issues that make them really feel heat or not so heat. And so what’s attention-grabbing is your query is, is there higher blended matches for enterprise relationships or private relationships?
And I believe on some stage there’s a pure tendency to seek out ourselves, a thinker and a doer and we all know that’s true. That numerous the strongest partnerships perhaps the strongest partnerships ever. Apple, Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, Jobs was clearly the thinker and Wozniak was clearly the doer and look what it did and so clearly, these are going to be two differing kinds. I’m guessing, Jobs was one thing like a seven and I’m guessing, that Wozniak was one thing like a 5.
Now, I don’t know however you’re most likely, going to seek out your self drawn to that. However I might problem the notion that ultimately should you’re each wholesome conscious of your sort construction, conscious of one another’s sort buildings, that there isn’t a mix that wouldn’t work. And I believe it’s about that dedication, that dedication to being the most effective clean you might be, being greatest six you might be. And I believe from there, that’s the place I really like the enneagram is as a result of we’re all people and the enneagram permits for and encourages you to simply be who you’re. And you may be two completely totally different individuals and each be sixes so I hope that solutions your query.

Ashley:
Yeah. It does, thanks.

Tony:
Nicely, one factor I wish to touch upon actually rapidly, Nick. You apologize for speaking concerning the private relationship facet of the enneagram. However man, I believe that’s tremendous necessary whilst all of us who’re investing in actual property, these of you which can be listening to this podcast and wish to begin investing in actual property, you’re doing so as a result of you might have this image in your thoughts of what you need your life to be like.
And for a lot of of you there’s clearly, the monetary half the place you might have this monetary freedom, this monetary safety however I’m certain for everybody that’s listening, there’s additionally a relational a part of that image of your life as properly. And it’s like, what good is constructing this huge monetary citadel should you’re in there by your self? And I believe having the ability to actually perceive who you’re as an individual and the way you’re employed with different individuals is necessary. My spouse and I, like I stated, we haven’t achieved this but however I positively, wish to make her do it now. I say, make her do it. I imply, ask her to do it as a result of I’m certain, I can’t make my spouse do something.

Ashley:
[crosstalk 00:33:45] we already know who wears the pants in that family.

Tony:
Yeah. In case you guys know my spouse, I can’t make her do something however we learn a guide in our mid twenties, perhaps you recognize it. It’s referred to as The 5 Love Languages and that guide was tremendous useful for us as a pair as a result of it gave us a greater understanding of who the opposite individual was. And we nonetheless actually, use the language that we picked up in that guide immediately about how we work together with one another. So that is me extra so simply giving recommendation to everybody based mostly on what’s labored for me is, should you can perceive your accomplice, your romantic accomplice, your dad or mum, your buddy, whoever it’s in a deeper approach, it actually does unlock a brand new stage in that relationship.

Ashley:
Tony, I believe that guide even applies to enterprise relationships too. I’m going to an actual property investor’s wedding ceremony and there’s an entire group textual content going of, “His love language is present giving, we’ve got to do one thing superior for him.” And everyone’s week is consumed, making an attempt to determine what present to offer him so I believe it’s a method to present appreciation too, should you do associate with what any person’s love language is just too and never simply in private relationships.

Nick:
If I can piggyback off of that, man, in case you are seeing the… And by the way in which I used to be a love languages man too. After I say that I’ve been into all these items, I’ve been into all these items. You guys are speaking about, the love languages I dig it and I believe you’re seeing the worth of simply these 5 little, “Oh, present giver,” or “Phrases of affirmation.” And also you see the worth in understanding that being aware of it after which, such as you stated, are you approaching your spouse otherwise, Tony? Not consciously, however you recognize. So simply on a second to second foundation, you’re. You’re not considering, “Oh, present giving,” or no matter your spouse’s is, it’s simply there and also you simply know and so that you’re a greater individual to your spouse. And should you might develop that infinitely, I imply, orders of magnitude, that’s simply what the enneagram is however on a brilliant richer, deeper stage.
And should you might perceive your spouse as a 4 my goodness, all of the little particulars, all of the nuances, all of the minutia, you’d be so ready to know these issues. And one different factor I simply wish to add is you have been speaking about you guys are pushed to construct these castles as a result of you might have this image of a life you wish to get to. And in working with pushed individuals such as you guys, one of many issues I most incessantly work on is how do you do the love half and the life half when you’re on that prepare? As a result of you may work so exhausting and it’s for these individuals that you simply love. It’s not since you’re egocentric otherwise you’re ignoring them however man, it may be attainable to simply try this. And so a few of the work is an understanding on the journey earlier than you get to that imaginative and prescient, how will we hold life working proper now in a very optimistic, fulfilling approach? In order that’s one of many issues that the enneagram’s nice at.

Tony:
Man, Nick, that is the place the remedy session kicks in as a result of what you’re saying is one thing that I battle with, actually. I ended working my W-2 job again in 2020 however I nonetheless do discover myself working lots however the motivation is totally different now earlier than is as a result of, “I needed to maintain my job, I needed the subsequent promotion, I needed a elevate.” Now, it’s like, “Shit, if I’m not working then who is aware of what’s going to occur to my enterprise?” And there’s this insatiable want to continue to grow as a result of in that development, I really feel a way of safety. But additionally the rationale why I don’t ever wish to return to a day job is as a result of I would like that freedom and that flexibility of time.
So I’ve that selection however numerous days I’m selecting to actually make investments it into the enterprise. And what makes it much more troublesome is that I do know my spouse and my son, their love language is high quality time. So I’ve to be very cognizant of this drive that I’ve and ensuring that I’m holding it in examine in order that I’m not pushed to the purpose that it decimate my relationships with the those who I really like probably the most. So man, it’s a very deep dialog however one which I’m glad that we’re having.

Nick:
Nicely, and I simply wish to level out only for anyone who’s being launched to this proper now, no matter 20 minutes in the past, I stated, “Nicely, what’s sixes, what’s their emotional behavior, what’s their focus of consideration?” It’s safety in an unsafe world and it’s planning and all of the doubt and the da da. And man, as you’re speaking there, I’m like, “Geez, are you simply promoting the six factor on function?” Is it like, “I wish to make it clear I’m a six,” since you actually simply stated all these issues. And the ability in that and what’s enjoyable about how correct that’s man, can you then deal with it so particularly, are you able to have a look at useless within the eye and begin mitigating its affect?
Whereas what are you going to do with the ENFP or INTJ, such as you stated you have been? How do you’re taking that as a instrument and be like, “I’m going to be higher.” However boy, wouldn’t it be straightforward so that you can have a look at the precise stuff you simply stated and know that’s a behavior and know that should you have been doing every other job in every other place on the earth, you’d nonetheless be battling that precise factor. And that I believe it’s liberating as a result of it’s like, “Nicely, I’m not a slave to it and it’s additionally empowering,” since you’re like, “Now, I do know what it’s, I can go get it.” After which of us who’re pushed like that, aren’t okay with it simply sitting there. As soon as, you recognize what it’s, you’re going to wish to go deal with it. I simply suppose it’s so [inaudible 00:39:11], I find it irresistible.

Tony:
Yeah.

Ashley:
And the truth that you’re very aware of what your loved ones wants from you that as a substitute of, “Nicely, I’m working to make us tons of cash so you may go and purchase no matter you need,” the place that doesn’t matter to them, the place you’re discovering that steadiness of spending high quality time with them and being aware of that, I believe it’s simply an enormous factor.

Nick:
That’s additionally one other huge six factor, proper? It’s at all times, like I stated originally, it’s much less about them and extra concerning the individuals they love, each time.

Ashley:
That’s humorous. And I really feel such as you use the unsuitable phrases for me to deliver this up as a result of I really feel prefer it’s on the unsuitable message. However while you care about any person, like I took on a brand new enterprise accomplice and the thrill and simply him attending to stop his job was extra of a motivator for me than me being like, “Oh, I could make this a lot cash on this month.” I labored a lot more durable, I felt like as a result of I needed to say to him, “I instructed you can stop your job.” However the way you simply stated that folks, you care about your folks, your loved ones, individuals, meaning one thing to you is a large motivator and also you care about that extra. I positively, determine with that as a six.

Nick:
Man, it goes again to that six factor of it’s usually and most frequently their precise household however like I stated, on the very starting of this, boy, sixes wish to make their very own households too. Like, “Yeah. You’re my household now.” And I’m guessing, I don’t know however I’m guessing, whoever this enterprise accomplice you might have now isn’t only a sensible enterprise individual, a tough employee, most likely, are all these issues. However I’m guessing, you have been excited as a result of, “That’s my household,” you’ve chosen this individual to be somebody in your circle versus simply, “Right here’s a enterprise alternative,” I’m guessing.

Ashley:
Yeah. And even Tony has introduced me into his household too should you have a look at his textual content messages, I’m pinned on the high of the very choose few, the inside circle of household.

Nick:
I imply, we’re sitting with a {couples} part right here, it seems like.

Tony:
Nick, you shared so many good issues and I actually hope everybody that’s listening takes the time to exit and full an enneagram for themselves to allow them to get a greater understanding of their very own persona sort. However I don’t know, Nick, is there anything we should always know concerning the enneagram, the way it’s helpful earlier than we wrap issues up right here?

Nick:
I might simply throw out the 80/20 precept has by no means been extra true of something on the earth. You’re going to get 80% of the worth by simply placing 20% into this factor. And also you’ll simply be blown away. Now, my guess is that when you get that, you’ll suppose, “Holy cow, what else can I do with this?” And if that’s the case pursue, do it such as you do with something that’s a instrument in your life. However I promise you might have my phrase that should you simply do it a tertiary high stage factor with this, you’ll already begin seeing simply superb payoffs in your life.

Ashley:
Superior. Nicely, thanks a lot, Nick. Are you able to inform everybody the place they’ll attain out to you or discover out some extra info?

Nick:
Positive. One of the best ways is simply NB, I’m Nick Baumgart so nbenneagram.com. There’s a couple of sources there however principally it’s only a method to get ahold of me. After which once more, I might simply lead everyone as a lot as I might to The Narrative Enneagram to me, they’re simply the authority out on the earth. It’s the place I’ve discovered nearly every thing I do know. After which one final little factor, there are assessments and I believe the most effective one is that The Narrative Enneagram, it’s a must to pay them 10 bucks. However I might simply say, as a result of I discussed that we’re all linked to all of the numbers and we’ve got these wings and we’ve got these traces that we transfer to, taking a check it could begin to really feel somewhat bit like astrology, “Each single one in every of these numbers seems like me.” And since to a point that it’s.
So should you do take a check, I might say, just be sure you learn and there’s going to be one that basically nails you and never in a great way. You’re going to really feel like somebody referred to as you out in your crap and also you’re not going to love it that’s most likely, your precise sort construction. However there’s actually no alternative for being able to have somebody undergo a typing interview with you whether or not that’s me or not and having the ability to get the subtleties and the dialog that you simply guys talked about, the remedy session to actually get in there. So by all means, take a check however hold going.

Ashley:
Yeah, Nick, I’ve to say speaking to you was so significantly better. And like Tony stated, a remedy session the place for me to take a seat down and take a check I might simply rush via it to get it over with. And it most likely, wouldn’t even find yourself being correct as a result of I might simply wish to get it achieved and over with it, click on via every thing [crosstalk 00:43:32].

Nick:
Or reply the way in which you needed [crosstalk 00:43:34].

Ashley:
Yeah. So I believe it was much more intentional doing it head to head or Zoom to Zoom and getting to speak with you. So thanks for taking the time to try this with each of us.

Nick:
Yeah. Thanks. That was nice.

Ashley:
I’m Ashley @wealthfromrentals and he’s Tony @tonyjrobinson on Instagram. And thanks guys a lot for becoming a member of us, we shall be again on Wednesday with one other visitor. We’ll see you subsequent time and bear in mind sixes guidelines and others drool.

Nick:
I find it irresistible.